You should dump him as soon as possible — to prove to yourself that you can. Your conservative background left you very confused, at odds (as it must have been) with the world around you.
I suspect your critical parents instilled you with little self-esteem, leaving you with this deep, desperate sense of gratitude when any man pays you attention.
If you do nothing but jump in the sack each time you meet, this is not a proper relationship — it deserves that term no more than the previous one which happened only online. You’re still very young, but old enough to start understanding some truths about love. You must also realise just how concerning it sounds to me when you write: ‘I’m worried I’m going to give in and cheat again.’Please do talk to someone you trust about him, whether that’s an older relative or perhaps a tutor or one of your old school teachers.
August rain: the best of the summer gone, and the new fall not yet born.
It also worries me that my step-cousin claims my boyfriend flirts with other girls online. But I am worried he’s using me or also cheating on me.
Orgasm (rather than sex) can block pain signals, says Professor Komisaruk.
Research using laboratory animals and humans has found that orgasm can inhibit the release of pain transmitters from the spinal cord so they can’t reach the neurons in the brain that respond to pain.
In time, you might consider counselling to address these issues.